First published: 6th July, 2020
Last updated: July 6, 2020 at 16:30 pm
The bible says that “Marriage is honorable, the bed is undefiled,” but not all marriages take on a godly stride and many people marry for the wrong reasons. Often, someone whose heart is incapable of loving promises to love someone “till death do them apart.”
Caution: This article is by no means encouraging people against marriage, but to be cautious when doing so. Learn to purge yourself of your own faults. Remember that you are never too old to learn, grow and change. Further, take time to know your partner and never be afraid to seek help and walk away. And more importantly, put God in front.
Not everyone has the strength to walk away from an abusive relationship. Many people boast of being married for X years. No doubt, there are many happy marriages with fair tale endings where they lived happily ever after. That does happen, but it hardly happens. Sometimes, people talk down adults who are not yet married. But those who are not married might very well have more to be thankful for. In the United States alone, over 40% of marriage end in divorce and on average, more than 20 people per minute are abused by an intimate partner.
From the little that reaches our eyes and ears, how many marriages have not ended in murder, suicide or maiming? The truth is, people don’t like to tell the truth, because the truth hurts. And people are often ashamed of “the naked truth.” Most people prefer a beautifully clothed lie – a lie in truth’s clothing. For these reasons, people seldom talk about the dark side of marriage.
One woman dared to walk away and tell the truth about her seemingly magical marriage. Here is her story.
I don’t know where to start but I guess I’ll start by sharing the truth. On the 1st of July I decided to walk away from my marriage and put an end to all the abuse I had been enduring for years with my husband. Every time I talk about the things I have been through that he has put me through physically and emotionally i can’t help but cry because I never thought I’d have the courage to walk away. It all started when we were dating I’ll never forget the first time he put his hands on me the look in his eyes and the fear in my heart…
I remember the first time he bashed me it was for answering him back I remember him coming back into the room and saying “what did you say!?” And before I could even say anything back he was kicking me and punching me I remember I tried my best to cover up trying to protect myself I remember trying to crawl to our bathroom and he came grabbed me by my hair and threw me against the wall and took the board off the shelf in the cupboard and smashed it over me I remember crying and trying to look into his eyes and try to tell him I was sorry and to please stop and I remember the look I saw in his eyes was as if I was looking into the eyes of a man with no heart or soul. I’ll never forget the first time he bashed me because that was the start of what would then become a cycle of him beating me up and then after he beats me up he’d come and kiss me and apologise to me and say he was sorry and I’d believe him every time and take him back because I was so weak and he knew that.
I was married to a narcissist. I remember times when he’d be high off ice and he would get angry at me and would bash me inside our apartment but before he’d beat me up he’d make sure he’d go and close all the curtains and turn off the lights so no one could see inside so he’d bash me in the dark. I’ve been kicked, punched, slapped, dragged on the floor by my hair, stabbed, choked and a lot more but for me personally the physical pain I was able to heal from but it’s the emotional abuse and trauma that he has caused me that’s the hardest and that will take a lot of time for me to heal from, for years he would put me down, swear at me, make me feel like I was worthless like my life didn’t matter, my feelings didn’t matter, I’d feel Suicidal because he would say things to me like “yeah no one will ever believe you” or “yeah even if you tell people they won’t care” he’d even say to me “if you’re a good girl you won’t suffer” he prayed on my weaknesses and he made sure I felt like I was nothing.
I have been beaten up even while I was heavily pregnant with my son and honestly believe the only reason I survived that day and I’m still alive today was because of my neighbours who called the police that day they could hear him break everything in the house and me crying. so he did go to jail the first time but even after he went to jail for beating me up I went back to him and got him out of jail 🤦🏽♀️ because I believed his lies and I loved him so much and couldn’t let go and I thought that he’d change but the truth is he never did change because after a week or two of being in jail for almost a year for bashing me while I was pregnant with our son and me doing everything I could to get him out of jail and stop them from deporting him back to Tonga he came out and did it all again. 😪 looking back he was a master manipulator.
There’s a lot more to my story but I still need to heal the broken pieces of my heart but my toko,my uso, my sister or anyone in a dv relationship if you are reading this If you are that person going through it and you feel too weak to walk away I want you to know that if I can do it so can you. You are not alone! I didn’t want to be another victim on tv who ends up being killed by their partner, I chose to live, to be free, to live for my children. You are loved! and you are beautiful! and you are worth it! Don’t be scared that no one will believe you or care because I will! I’ll believe you and I care. Don’t be ashamed because it’s not your fault. A real man would never hit a woman. A mans hands were made to love and protect us not hurt us. There are people who can help you or if you want you can talk to me. I’ll listen ❤️
#DOMESTICVIOLENCEAWARENESS✊🏽
#Mypastwillnotdeterminemyfuture what doesn’t kill you only makes you stronger 🦋
Source: https://www.facebook.com/alipapi.tuivasa/posts/272550994029647
