Sometimes, when writing, we tend to define a word to loosely – deviating from the standard dictionary definition and expressing our personal understanding of the word or expression. This is something to avoid whenever possible. When writing, pay careful attention to how you define words and expressions. Here is one example.
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A tourist is a person who travels from country to country to enrich his or her personal experiences and learn about different places and cultures. Many tourists are not rich people, but they are ambitious people. Tourists often use the knowledge gained from their voyages to write books that inform and educate.
Many tourists try to find the cheapest ways of getting from place to place. Nowadays, there are websites that help tourists to find free accommodation with friendly people in countries all over the world. Even though these websites have advanced screening features to ensure the safety and reliability of their members, users still have to exercise caution.
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Let’s look at the first sentence in the passage above:
A tourist is a person who travels from country to country to enrich his or her personal experiences and learn about different places and cultures.
There are several things wrong with the sentence above. Firstly, the definition of a “tourist” is not a standard dictionary definition. Secondly, it is somewhat misleading as tourists don’t always travel from “country” to “country” but also from “place” to “place” within the same country. Further, anyone who travels for pleasure, whether once or multiple times, may be considered a tourist.
How can we rework to first sentence to make it more accurate while at the same time keeping the pace and rhythm of the passage? Choose from the options below or create your own. Leave your comments and suggestions in the comments section below this article.
A. A tourist is a person who travels for pleasure, to enrich his or her personal experiences, and to learn about different places and cultures.
A1. A tourist is a person who travels for pleasure. Through travel, tourists enrich their personal experiences and learn about different places and cultures.
B. A tourist is a person who travels to different places for personal satisfaction and to enrich his or her personal experiences and knowledge.
C. A tourist is a person who travels to different places to enrich his or her personal experiences and learn about different places and cultures.
D. A tourist is a person who travels for pleasure, to enrich his or her personal experiences, to learn about different places and cultures, etc.
E. A tourist is a person who travels for pleasure, to enrich his or her personal experiences, to learn about different places and cultures, and so forth.
F. A tourist is a person who travels for pleasure, to enrich his or her personal experiences, and to learn different places and cultures.
G. A tourist is a person who travels for pleasure. Aside from the personal satisfaction and pleasure derived from traveling, a tourist may use travel as a means to enrich his or her personal experiences and learn about different places and cultures.
Also, it is my opinion that the word “often” should be changed to “sometimes” and “voyages” should be changed to “travels.” What do you think? In what other way(s) do you think the passage can be improved or corrected? Please type your response in the comment section below.
