This article was last updated on 16th February, 2015 by Patrick Carpen.
My silfian friend, Blue Horn, revealed to me an interesting fact during one of our excursions on the planet SILF: silfians are walking on Earth as I write this article. Many silfians are owners of huge multi-billion dollars businesses on earth; and without calling any names, I was introduced to some silfians who held more money, gold and assets than Bill Gates and the Facebook founder, Mark Zuckerberg, put together. In fact, there were many such silfians. I cannot give the exact number of silfians who are ruling on earth; but I can say this: there are quite a few of them.
The Silfians operate through a chain of command, and many of earth’s largest hotels, film companies, factories and trading companies are really controlled on the highest level by silfians. My silfian friend, Blue Horn,detailed some tips the silfian use to rule humans.
1. Make the human feel as though he or she is moving from point A to point B. To accomplish this, you implement a system of gradual wages increase over time. This is a sensitive scale to balance: on one hand if the human progresses too fast, he or she will become less motivated and even become wasteful: not having an understanding of value for money. On the other hand, if the human advances too slowly, he or she will also become demotivated since the future looks dismal.
For this reason, the silfians have implemented a system which keeps the humans motivated knowing that their efforts will get them from point A to point B in X amount of time.
2. Make the human feel valued. The humans take pride in their jobs: most of them want to boast of doing something good and respectable. For this reason you need to present qualifying exams along the way, awards for outstanding performances, and pay increases for dedication to the job.
3. Make sure the humans get plenty of physical and mental exercise. Without either of the two, the human mind and body tend to “rust” and the human will ultimately under-perform. For these reasons, the silfians have implemented systems where the humans are encouraged to perform well both physically and mentally.
4. Create systems for depleting the humans financially. Yes, this is important in ruling the humans. If the humans hold too much money and don’t have interesting things to do with it, many of them may get tempted to do stupid things with it, such as funding wars and conflicts. For these reasons the silfians have set up “outlet” systems to keep the humans’ money circulating. These may include nightclubs, bars, fun parks, movie theaters, and expensive restaurants. Going to these places gives the humans a feeling of prestige and helps them have a good time at the same time.
The Intergalactic Peace Keeping Force will not allow silfians do the following:
1. Speed up technology and inventions on the planet earth: they must come in their own time through human hands and minds. The silfian may utilize whatever inventions were already made by humans, but may not help them to create more advanced inventions than they can create on their own.
2. Use force in ruling the humans.
4. Cause conflict or wars on earth or any planet in which they rule.
5. Deplete the natural resources of the planet by taking away the precious metals.
6. The silfians must not interfere with the natural evolutionary process of the humans. The humans must be allowed to invent their own vaccines and medicines, and methods for reaching optimum health.
The silfians rule billions of planet throughout the universe, and they have a good time doing it.
All in all, the contributions of the silfians on planet earth have led to happier and more productive lives for the humans.