Last updated: June 4, 2019 at 11:54 am
Today, I was feeling a little down; a little disappointed with the way things are going. Indeed, I had asked God for many great things. I had asked Him to make all my dreams come true.
I trust Him when He says “Ask and it shall be given unto you,” and I remember Jesus’ advice to “be insistent because God gives to those who keeps banging on the door in the wee hours of the night.”
Yet today I felt broken. So many upheavals had taken place in my life that I wondered what really was happening. But I remember how, some time back, about two years ago, that small voice had seeped from the far reaches of my mind and whispered “God will see you through.” And this happened just when I was wondering how I was going to get through what I was going through.
And then I remembered when my heart almost failed me out of distress brought on by past events and memories, and then a young girl walked past me. On the back of her t-shirt was written “relax, God knows what He is doing.”
Not too long after, I was moving from one city to the next. A vehicle overtook the one I was traveling in. It was a strange country I was in, among people I had never seen before. I was leaving a city I had spent only 3 months in for a city which I never in my life dreamed I would be going to. I had no friends, family or relatives there: just God and perfect strangers.
As the vehicle overtook mine, I read on the rear windshield, “it is God who leads you down the road you are going.”
And this made me remember too, in 2012, when I felt I didn’t know what really was going on in my life. It seemed sometimes I was swept away by a strange current, sometimes I was rocking aimlessly with the waves in the ocean of life. And as I pondered these ideas, a car passed in front of me. On the back of it read “I have great plans for you,” says the Lord. “Plans to prosper you, and not to harm you.”
For most people, these messages may be easily overlooked or dismissed. But for me, they meant something. For me, these messages represented the voice of God, listening to my heart’s questions and talking back directly to me.
Certainly, my God is alive. He has answered so many of my prayers that I have every reason to believe He would answer ALL of them. Or at least those that are in keeping with His righteousness. Don’t underestimate what God can do. Remember that He has no shortage of anything in His hands. Don’t be afraid to ask God for what you want until He gives it to you. If there is no unrighteousness in it, He will give it to you. Remember, there is no unrighteousness in God, and remember too, that “men cannot tire God.”
Whatever your desires are, no matter how big they may seem to you or to men, for God, it may be no more than a small drop of water from the oceans. And that’s understating it. Remember that God is infinitely powerful. His power knows no bounds.
So then why was I feeling so broken today? And why all these upheavals in my life? We all dream of a smooth life where everyday problems are non-existent. But remember what the bible says, “The refining pot for silver and the furnace for gold, but God tries the heart.” Remember too that God often uses grueling circumstances to teach us hard but important lessons. Without opening our eyes to these things, we may very well be wandering in the dark in so many respects. And remember too, His word when He says “who the Lord loves, He chastens sometimes.”
This afternoon, a message came to my eyes. It was a quote from the famous English preacher, Charles Spurgeon. It read, “when God means to make a man great, He always breaks him in pieces first.” Indeed, it was God talking to me once again, answering the questions of my heart.
UPDATE:
In September, 2017, I was teaching at St. Ignatius Secondary in the Rupununi Savannahs of Guyana. A disturbing incident took place between me and the administration of the school, and I was forced to pack up and leave my apartment. I moved across to the Brazilian city of Bonfim. As I lay there, pondering what next to do with my life, someone added me on Whatsapp. I didn’t know this person, but they posted a picture with text that read: Sometimes God closes doors because it’s time to MOVE forward. He knows you won’t move unless your circumstances force you. Trust the transition. God’s got you.
About a month later, as I was contemplating starting a tour around the world, another person I didn’t know sent me a message on Whatsapp. It read: God will put His angels in charge of you to protect you wherever you go. Psalms 91: 11.
In December, 2017, I made a trip to Georgetown. I was staying at a hotel and running out of money. A car passed by. On the top of the front windshield was written: Jesus never fails. I whispered to God, “thanks for the reminder.” Not too long after, a friend from the same town who had owed me some money called and said he will be sending all of it the next day. He did.
Update:
In 2018, I had a horrible experience with some “good friends.” I knew it could have been worse. About two days later, I went into a supermarket and saw a proverb on the wall. It read: Bad things open our eyes to things we weren’t paying attention to. This too is a blessing from God.
Update: I was traveling in a bus around May, 2019 when some disturbing thoughts entered my mind. I had made a slightly humorous comment on a YouTube video and a so-called “Christian” jumped up to say mean things to me. This was really depressing, but I was able to prove with scriptures that their words were both ungodly and un-christlike. The comment was later deleted perhaps by YouTube or the person who wrote it. However, the incident still disturbed my mind from time to time. As my mind pondered this negative experience, my eyes glanced the air-freshener hanging from the bus’ rearview mirror. There were words on it that read: … every tongue that shall rise against thee in judgment thou shalt condemn. This is the heritage of the servants of the LORD, and their righteousness is of me, saith the LORD.
