Doing little acts of kindness to random people is a key to happiness. Expecting them to be grateful to you is a key to misery.
Have you ever had an experience where someone was ungrateful to you? You’ve probably had several! But think about it, have you ever acted ungratefully to someone in the past? Chances are, you probably have, and perhaps without ever knowing it. It is a generally observable rule that “people are generally ungrateful.” And if that rule is true, you’re people, aren’t you?
The above scenario is a good example of how people tend to only see the side of the coin that serves them, but there are two sides to every coin. Yes, it is true that people are generally ungrateful by nature, and there are several possible factors that theoretically contribute to this reality:
- Fear of being held for ransom. Have you ever done a good deed for someone, and instead of drawing closer to you, the person started to avoid you? Perhaps the person was in a very tight situation when you bailed them out. In some cases, the person might express deep gratitude towards you, but at other times, they may withdraw. This may be because the person consciously or subconsciously fears that you will try to find a way to extract back what you had given and more.
- Knowledge that people are naturally selfish. The selfish nature of people makes it difficult for most of them to do genuine acts of charity. In many cases, even when they “pretend” to do so, they do it with an ulterior motive. People know this about their fellow “people,” and they instinctively become suspicious of people who are appearing to do good.
- The naturally evil nature of people. The bible tells us that the heart of man is desperately wicked, and that man, without Jesus in his heart, is sinful by nature. The evil nature of people may cause them to want to gain and not give. So when they receive an act of charity from someone, they run away without even bothering to say thanks, and try not to pay back, thinking incorrectly that they had thus gained.
But it gets worse. You may have done an act of charity for someone who turns around and does something terrible to you. This too, reflects the evil nature of people. The bible warns us that “whoever repays good with evil, evil will never depart from his house.” That is not to say that God can’t forgive you and cleanse your sin if you wronged someone and become truly repentant! But we must be careful not to repay good with evil, to the best of our abilities.
But let’s go on to examine further why people are so ungrateful, or seemingly so. On the surface, it may seem like people are ungrateful, but this isn’t always the case. In some instances, it is the “giver” who is at fault. To understand this better, let us examine what it means to “give” something to someone. To give means to transfer ownership of something to someone without requiring anything in return. Many people today go about doing so called acts of charity for all the wrong reasons. They don’t do it to store a treasure up in heaven, nor do they do it out of a genuine desire to help struggling humanity. They do it for one of the following reasons:
Related: Man calls his daughter “ungrateful” for not wanting to have sex with him!
- Boost their own ego.
- Exude a sense of superiority over the recipient.
- Receive praise and eternal gratitude in return.
- Get a “return on investment.”
Jesus warns us, “if you do good for only those who can help you in return, what sense does it make?” And this is the reason why most people do anything for anyone! They see a benefit either directly or indirectly. They are not really doing any act of true charity, but they are expecting true gratitude in return.
For many years, I struggled with the question as to why Jesus instructs us to do our charitable acts in complete secrecy: do not let your right hand know what your left hand does. I thought it was better to broadcast it, but I trusted that God’s knowledge is superior to mine. After examining all aspects of the situation, I was able to see how infinitely superior God’s knowledge is to mine!
Yes, people are generally ungrateful by nature, but there are some rules that you must follow when doing good works.
- Give, walk away, and do not ask anything in return from the person you have given to. Do not even expect the person to express deep gratitude to you. Remember it is God acting through you to help that person, and you receive a blessing for that act of charity.
- Do not feel a sense of pride when helping others, but feel a sense of fulfillment knowing that you have received both heavenly and earthly blessings for the act you have done to please God and help your fellow humans.
- Don’t take pictures and broadcast it. Don’t whisper to another person that you had done so and so for him or her. That’s nasty, selfish, and full of worldly intentions.
The bible says that “whoever gives to the poor honors his maker, and He (God) will repay what he (the giver) has given. Everyday, God gives you a new opportunity to store a treasure up in heaven. Take advantage of it, but not in the wrong way.
