{"id":48,"date":"2014-07-15T13:03:41","date_gmt":"2014-07-15T13:03:41","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/patrickcarpen.com\/humour\/?page_id=48"},"modified":"2014-07-15T13:03:41","modified_gmt":"2014-07-15T13:03:41","slug":"why-i-hate-the-clock","status":"publish","type":"page","link":"https:\/\/patrickcarpen.com\/humour\/why-i-hate-the-clock\/","title":{"rendered":"Why I Hate the Clock"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>I&#8217;ll tell you why I hate the clock. I hate the clock because when you wake up in the morning, and you look at it, and it says, for example six-thirty, and you know you have to get to work at 8:00, but you&#8217;re so tired, you just want to shut your eyes for a few seconds more&#8230;the clock doesn&#8217;t care.<\/p>\n<p>By the time you wink it is already past eight. The clock won&#8217;t slow its hands down. Not even for a second. It doesn&#8217;t care how tired you are, or how late you&#8217;ll be. It just speeds up when you&#8217;re most tired and most sleepy. And that&#8217;s one of the reasons I don&#8217;t put the alarm on, because I hate the clock.<\/p>\n<p>Related: The Unruly Telephone.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>I&#8217;ll tell you why I hate the clock. I hate the clock because when you wake up in the morning, and you look at it, and it says, for example <a class=\"more-link\" href=\"https:\/\/patrickcarpen.com\/humour\/why-i-hate-the-clock\/\">Continue Reading &rarr;<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"parent":0,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","template":"","meta":{"_jetpack_hide_featured_image":false,"_jetpack_featured_image_duplicate_dismissed":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-48","page","type-page","status-publish","hentry"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v28.8 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>Why I Hate the Clock<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Why I hate the Clock - Humour\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/patrickcarpen.com\/humour\/why-i-hate-the-clock\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Why I Hate the Clock\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Why I hate the Clock - 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