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“Honor Your Father and Mother!” is a Hallmark of Abusive Parents and Guardians

The bible tells us to honor our father and mother, and that’s a good thing. It is one of the ten commandments that Christians and Jews, and also Muslims, hold dearly. Unfortunately, this sacred text is sometimes used as a weapon against helpless and unsuspecting children by abusers.

Yes, some children are ungrateful and abusive to parents, but many parents and guardians misuse this verse to subdue children and perpetuate their abuses on them. If you love your child genuinely, and they see that you genuinely care for them, and do your best to provide for them, then they will reciprocate that love and care. This is a natural human tendency. In this case, reading the fifth commandment in the bible will give them an added sense of satisfaction and joy knowing that they are also pleasing God and winning His blessings.

If a parent or guardian finds it necessary to shout at a child, “the bible says to honor your father and mother!” then chances are, that parent or guardian might be abusive. Some parents and guardians tailor the verse to suit their own circumstances. For example, they may add, substract, or substitute words from the verse. For example, one guardian, who was neither a father nor mother, would shout to the children, “the bible says to honor to your parents!” during her many abusive tirades. In this case, this abuser labeled herself a “parent,” so she substituted “mother and father” with “parents.”

Another person shouted to a child, “honor your parents and the people who cooked and cleaned and washed for you!” Of course, there is nothing becoming in holding grudges against what you do for an innocent child when they couldn’t have helped themselves. All humans were at that stage at one point in their lives. You must do what you do with love and reverence for God, claiming your blessings for these acts from God, and not holding the child emotionally hostage and reminding them so violently that you or someone else cared for them when they were children. This can cause a child to have an aversion towards caring for children or having their own children, or worse yet, they may pass down this abuse to their own children or children in their care.

All children deserve genuine love, good treatment, and proper care. Unfortunately, only a handful receive this. What’s worse is that some parents not only neglect, but hinder their children’s progress intentionally.

If you are a child who suffered abuse in any form or the other, let that cycle of abuse end with you. You be the one to break that generational curse. Treat your children with love and do everything you can to make their lives better and their hearts happy. Chances are, they will reciprocate it. And even better, they will pass on that legacy to the future generations.

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