{"id":109,"date":"2014-11-30T20:06:29","date_gmt":"2014-11-30T20:06:29","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/patrickcarpen.com\/general\/?page_id=109"},"modified":"2016-01-11T03:44:36","modified_gmt":"2016-01-11T03:44:36","slug":"maintaining-eye-contact","status":"publish","type":"page","link":"https:\/\/patrickcarpen.com\/general\/self-improvement\/maintaining-eye-contact\/","title":{"rendered":"Maintaining Eye Contact"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><em>This article was first created sometime in 2015 and last updated on the 10th of January, 2016 by <a href=\"http:\/\/patrickcarpen.com\" target=\"_blank\">Patrick Carpen.<\/a><\/em><\/p>\n<div id=\"attachment_308\" style=\"width: 522px\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\"><img data-recalc-dims=\"1\" loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" aria-describedby=\"caption-attachment-308\" class=\"wp-image-308 size-full\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/patrickcarpen.com\/general\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/47\/2014\/11\/eye-contact-1308403.jpg?resize=512%2C639\" alt=\"eye-contact-1308403\" width=\"512\" height=\"639\" srcset=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/patrickcarpen.com\/general\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/47\/2014\/11\/eye-contact-1308403.jpg?w=512&amp;ssl=1 512w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/patrickcarpen.com\/general\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/47\/2014\/11\/eye-contact-1308403.jpg?resize=240%2C300&amp;ssl=1 240w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 512px) 100vw, 512px\" \/><p id=\"caption-attachment-308\" class=\"wp-caption-text\">Photo Thanks To: <a href=\"http:\/\/www.freeimages.com\/photo\/eye-contact-1308403\" target=\"_blank\">http:\/\/www.freeimages.com\/photo\/eye-contact-1308403<\/a><\/p><\/div>\n<blockquote><p>Have you ever heard the expression &#8220;look me in the eyes and tell me that you&#8217;re not lying&#8221;? &#8211; It&#8217;s because <a href=\"http:\/\/patrickcarpen.com\/the-humans\/\" target=\"_blank\">humans<\/a> are wired to think it&#8217;s difficult to lie while looking into the eyes of the person you&#8217;re talking to. And while seasoned liars can lie calmly in just about any circumstance, I do agree that it is less easy to lie while looking someone directly in the eyes.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p>I&#8217;ve never liked the practice of looking <a href=\"http:\/\/patrickcarpen.com\/people\/\" target=\"_blank\">people<\/a> directly in the eyes while communicating. I like to look into my girlfriend&#8217;s eyes: it&#8217;s a personal, intimate experience; but for everyone else I meet and talk to, I tended to avoid eye contact like the plague. I find it a bit uncomfortable, and I have found quite a number of <a href=\"http:\/\/patrickcarpen.com\/people\/\" target=\"_blank\">people<\/a> who share my views. I didn&#8217;t even like to look <a href=\"http:\/\/patrickcarpen.com\/people\/\" target=\"_blank\">people<\/a> directly in the face; maybe a glance here and there; but my eyes moved from head to\u00a0shoulder, from the floor to the ceiling, around me, at an object nearby&#8230;you get the picture.<\/p>\n<p>Nevertheless, all throughout my life, I&#8217;ve heard or overheard tiny lectures on the importance of <em>maintaining eye contact<\/em>. And once a close acquaintance of mine said he didn&#8217;t feel comfortable going into a venture with me because something didn&#8217;t seem right about my proposal. He later mentioned that he suspected I wasn&#8217;t\u00a0being straight with him because I wasn&#8217;t\u00a0making proper eye contact. I was a bit shocked, but I noted his remarks well. And that brings us to: the importance of making eye contact in <a href=\"http:\/\/patrickcarpen.com\/business-projects\/\" target=\"_blank\">business<\/a>.<\/p>\n<p>When I was <a href=\"http:\/\/patrickcarpen.com\/teaching\/\" target=\"_blank\">teaching<\/a> <a href=\"http:\/\/patrickcarpen.com\/english-language\/\" target=\"_blank\">English<\/a> at the Wizard school in <a href=\"http:\/\/patrickcarpen.com\/brazil\/\" target=\"_blank\">Brazil<\/a>, Silvana, the owner of the school, had a habit of looking me directly in the eyes while talking to me. I noticed this, and I had a hunch somehow that she wanted me to look directly into her eyes too. One time she insisted that I take my shades off while talking about an important <a href=\"http:\/\/patrickcarpen.com\/business-projects\/\" target=\"_blank\">business matter<\/a>, because, as she said &#8220;she likes to see the eyes of the person she is talking to&#8221;.<\/p>\n<p>I don&#8217;t doubt that the eyes could reveal a lot. Happiness, fear, anger and sadness could all be detected in the eyes of <a href=\"http:\/\/patrickcarpen.com\/people\/\" target=\"_blank\">people<\/a> who are harboring those emotions, and there is this saying &#8220;the eyes are the windows to the soul&#8221;.<\/p>\n<p>When I came back to<a href=\"http:\/\/patrickcarpen.com\/guyana\/lethem-rupununi-savannas-guyana\/\" target=\"_blank\"> Lethem<\/a> and started working at the Takutu Hotel, the Manager, Ms. Morsha Johnson, advised me of the importance of maintaining eye contact while talking to guests who check into the hotel. I personally observed that she was in the habit of making direct eye contact when talking to me. I reciprocated the practice.<\/p>\n<p>It was then that I started becoming aware of the fact that many <a href=\"http:\/\/patrickcarpen.com\/business-projects\/\" target=\"_blank\">business<\/a> <a href=\"http:\/\/patrickcarpen.com\/people\/\" target=\"_blank\">people<\/a> like to make eye contact. Not long after, I embarked on a distribution <a href=\"http:\/\/patrickcarpen.com\/business-projects\/\" target=\"_blank\">business<\/a>, and I noticed that whenever I made eye contact with a potential <a href=\"http:\/\/patrickcarpen.com\/business-projects\/\" target=\"_blank\">business<\/a> partner, they were 95% more likely to say &#8220;yes&#8221; to the <a href=\"http:\/\/patrickcarpen.com\/business-projects\/\" target=\"_blank\">business<\/a> deal, or spend a considerably longer time discussing it, and giving useful advice and information.<\/p>\n<p>It would appear like glancing away from a person&#8217;s eyes sends the message, consciously or subconsciously, that &#8220;this guy has something to hide&#8221; or &#8220;this guy is not being straight and honest&#8221;, or &#8220;this guy doesn&#8217;t know what he&#8217;s about&#8221;. \u00a0It would appear like many <a href=\"http:\/\/patrickcarpen.com\/people\/\" target=\"_blank\">people<\/a>, especially successful <a href=\"http:\/\/patrickcarpen.com\/business-projects\/\" target=\"_blank\">business<\/a> <a href=\"http:\/\/patrickcarpen.com\/people\/\" target=\"_blank\">people<\/a>, interpret things that way.<\/p>\n<p>It is for this reason that I&#8217;ve gotten into the habit of making eye contact with <a href=\"http:\/\/patrickcarpen.com\/people\/\" target=\"_blank\">people<\/a> when trying to strike a <a href=\"http:\/\/patrickcarpen.com\/business-projects\/\" target=\"_blank\">business<\/a> deal, and a few other things.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>This article was first created sometime in 2015 and last updated on the 10th of January, 2016 by Patrick Carpen. Have you ever heard the expression &#8220;look me in the <a class=\"more-link\" href=\"https:\/\/patrickcarpen.com\/general\/self-improvement\/maintaining-eye-contact\/\">Continue Reading &rarr;<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"parent":759,"menu_order":2,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","template":"","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-109","page","type-page","status-publish","hentry"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v28.7 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>Maintaining Eye Contact - General Articles<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Patrick Carpen writes about the importance of making eye contact when speaking.\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/patrickcarpen.com\/general\/self-improvement\/maintaining-eye-contact\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Maintaining Eye Contact - 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