This article was last updated on the 10th of August, 2015 by Patrick Carpen.
I’m proud to say that I’m all about Jesus. As the song goes, I will not boast in anything…no gift, no power, no wisdom….
Indeed, how deep the Father’s love for us, how vast beyond all measure, that He should give His only Son, to make a wretch His treasure. I love that song by the way. It’s among my favorite gospel songs that I listen to over and over.
On Saturday night, the Pastor of the Assemblies of God Church in Lethem called and asked me to attend a special meeting with the youths coming from other districts. I told her I would try my best, but my supervisor just couldn’t give me the time off.
Over the last few weeks or months, I had been suffering from a mammoth depression for a number of reasons: things that should have gone right but went wrong; the troubles of life; my personal failures and blunders in life…the list goes on.
It’s been over two years since I’ve been walking in the light of God’s love and I can surely count the blessings He has poured on me. I still feel many of my ungodly ways and worldly desires lingering. But as the song goes “one day at a time Sweet Jesus”.
I don’t beat myself up for not being completely transformed in an instant, like many people do. I know God is my Maker. He knows what troubles me. He knows why. He understands.
Sunday morning came and work was still so imposing. My supervisor didn’t ask, but I knew that sticking around would be really helpful; so I did. And boy, did I ask myself how he would have managed without me that morning!
But my depression get growing and growing. My situation was becoming untenable. I felt like the right thing to do was to pack a bag, get on a bus and go for a holiday in a far away city. And who knows…perhaps never come back. That I felt was the thing that would most positively impact my thoughts.
Sunday evening dawned. I approached my supervisor. “I have to go to church,” I told him. “At least for one hour. I didn’t go this morning. Hold the desk for me.” He agreed.
I said, “God, it’s been over two years since I’ve been walking in the light of Your love. It’s been over two years, after many years of running from Jesus, that I’ve accepted Him as my Lord and Savior. Indeed, Jesus is the Son of God. He is God in the flesh. I trust you will lead me from darkness to light.”
The church service was a little different that night. I think they were celebrating the anniversary of the church – two years’ anniversary.
The Pastor was praying in Portuguese. “Let all evil plans of the enemy fall to the ground, in the name of Jesus….”
Indeed…we needed that more than anything, knowing who our enemy is.
At the close of the service, the Pastor’s wife came on stage and took the mic. She looked at me. She started to speak. “Do you see that young man over there…Patrick Carpen…. He only looks so simple. He comes to visit us here sometimes…to worship with us…but he is not an ordinary guy. He’s so intelligent. He’s a writer, and does many other wonderful things. I’m sure that God has some great things in store for him here in this place.”
I smiled. I whispered under my breath, “thank you”.
I felt my depression fly away like a bird on wings. Surely, this is a sign from God. A thousand miles of travel could not have lifted my spirits this much…as a simple walk around the block, to the gathering with the Lord Jesus.
Certainly God is watching. He is hearing. And that evening, He talked back to me in human voice. He told me so many things, in so little words.
Related: I’m all about Jesus.